Suspense is worse than disappointment

So Homie Don't Bring Your Girl To Meet Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
And Baby Don't Bring Your Girlfriend To Eat Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
Please Believe It, Unless Your Game Is Tight And U Trust Her
Then Don't Bring Her Around Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)

Lyrics from R. Kelly ' I'm A Flirt'
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So over the past couple of weeks I have been attempting to flirt, with whom I won’t say. ‘Attempting’ is the key word, as I will be the first to confess I am no good at it. The thought of batting my eyes or making witty remarks sends me into a tail spin and gets me tongue tied – how will he know it’s not my contact lens, or how will he know that that was really supposed to be a joke?
I don’t think I can best be categorized as ‘shy’ under normal circumstances, but when it comes to relating to someone that I have an interest in, then it’s all downhill from there.

I have a good female friend who is an absolute flirt and has it down to an art – a female R. Kelly? I wonder. Watching her in action is indeed a sight to behold. I doubt if the men even know what hits them and by the time they realize it it’s far too late. It’s not just what is said, but how it is said and how it is done. Hmmm, the wonders of it all.

Me, have always been a less direct kind of person – it takes forever for me to decide if I do like someone, and then when I do it is even harder to let them know it. I am not sure why. I suppose on the days when I am honest with myself I can hazard a guess, but won’t be brave enough to share that in this post.

I guess the heart of the matter is also knowing if the person does like you too. Pretty simple when you look at it superficially, after all one should know these things. Truth be told I am bad at these guessing games – once bitten, twice shy? - and even the most obvious of actions will become as challenging as the latest suduko puzzle with me trying to figure out what did this statement mean, or what was that action suppose to prove. A sorry state of affairs isn’t it?

Ok, so have decided I am just going to stop ‘thinking’, ‘rationalizing’ or what ever other ‘ings’ I may be tempted to do. Will just let it flow. If something materializes fine, if it doesn’t also fine – at least would have acquired a good friend in the process. Will be that much richer for the experience. After all that is what life is all about isn’t it?

So here I am, attempting to flirt. Notice served.

A post for my lunch date...

So yes, this is a special post for the person I went to lunch with today – note well, special post, not to be confused with special person. I know how conceited you can be! The last thing you said to me before dropping me back to office was that I 'should go blog about this', so yes, have taken your advice. See I do listen to you - sometimes. Hope you are happy.

Of course lots more to blog about than lunch, but will refrain from doing so now. Anyway rest assured that I invited you to lunch simply because I wanted to, and not because I find you irresistibly sexy - a little, but not irresistibly so - was good to see you today and just felt like asking you out for lunch, no strings attached. You are still invited to come by me for lasagna – the best in Accra, yours and On-the-Run included!

P.S. Can hear you laughing as you read this, so yes would serve you well to remember I have a black belt. Then again you know only too well, don’t you?

P.P.S. For everyone else who didn't go to lunch with me today, have been behind in my posts and promise to update my blog this weekend!

Men and dating...

My daughter thinks it's time for me to begin dating again - hmmm. Permission granted? And while a part of me does want to, am frankly terrified of the thought! Gravity and other forces of nature aside, it's always been easier to keep people out than let them in. Of course have been out a couple of times, have had fun, but had always put myself in a position where I had a good excuse as to 'why not' rather than 'why'.

Started to chew on it more as I was skyping with a friend of mine earlier this week who at 30 has just gotten into her first real relationship. We spoke about a number of things, but what struck me most was just how much our own insecurities, both women and men, often times held us back. A number of the issues she shared, I could easily relate to, having gone through similar experiences myself. While that was then, and this is now, wondered if I had gotten any wiser. Would like to think I have - I think experience does allow one to separate things of the heart with things from the head a bit better.

Apart from permission given by Ashes, living in Accra makes for interesting choices (double sigh). Never felt the urge to date while living in the Netherlands. I think that was for two reasons - one, was just so busy trying to juggle work, traveling and being a real single parent in every sense of the word, and two Dutch men never really appealed to me (apologies to all the nice Dutch men I know). I guess I kept comparing them to Jamaican men, which is of course dangerous to say the least.

A Jamaican man is usually so self confident when it comes to women, that it's often times difficult to read between the lines when it comes to more reserved men. I would often times listen to my co-workers complain how long it took - literally months - before a Dutch man would even admit that he liked them. Not so with Jamaican men - of course won't get into how sincere these declarations of like, love and lust are!

The other thing I found strange was just how practical Dutch men seem to be in the gifts they give their lovers - almost had a heart attack once as a Dutch male friend of mine thought of buying a microwave for his girlfriend's birthday - of course it was a very practical gift and one that his girlfriend seemed to have needed, but give me a break - a microwave for a birthday present? Not on by my standards, would like it to be more romantic. Of course won't go into the pros and cons of Jamaican men - that would take a couple of posts in itself.

I must admit though that a self-confident man is a big turn on, by no way to be confused with being obnoxious! Nice to see that Ghanaian men do have a healthy dose of confidence. As I once read somewhere, "Finding a good man in today's world isn't as difficult as some women think. You just have to watch out for the signs. You wouldn't drive with a blindfold on, but for some reason, women continue to date with one." Very true I think.

So here I am, blindfold off - plus baggage unloaded! Curious to see what will happen, already some interesting possibilities ahead - though rest assured that is one area I won't be blogging about!
DC