Sunday, June 03, 2007

Men and dating...

My daughter thinks it's time for me to begin dating again - hmmm. Permission granted? And while a part of me does want to, am frankly terrified of the thought! Gravity and other forces of nature aside, it's always been easier to keep people out than let them in. Of course have been out a couple of times, have had fun, but had always put myself in a position where I had a good excuse as to 'why not' rather than 'why'.

Started to chew on it more as I was skyping with a friend of mine earlier this week who at 30 has just gotten into her first real relationship. We spoke about a number of things, but what struck me most was just how much our own insecurities, both women and men, often times held us back. A number of the issues she shared, I could easily relate to, having gone through similar experiences myself. While that was then, and this is now, wondered if I had gotten any wiser. Would like to think I have - I think experience does allow one to separate things of the heart with things from the head a bit better.

Apart from permission given by Ashes, living in Accra makes for interesting choices (double sigh).
Never felt the urge to date while living in the Netherlands. I think that was for two reasons - one, was just so busy trying to juggle work, traveling and being a real single parent in every sense of the word, and two Dutch men never really appealed to me (apologies to all the nice Dutch men I know). I guess I kept comparing them to Jamaican men, which is of course dangerous to say the least.

A Jamaican man is usually so self confident when it comes to women, that it's often times difficult to read between the lines when it comes to more reserved men. I would often times listen to my co-workers complain how long it took - literally months - before a Dutch man would even admit that he liked them. Not so with Jamaican men - of course won't get into how sincere these declarations of like, love and lust are!

The other thing I found strange was just how practical Dutch men seem to be in the gifts they give their lovers - almost had a heart attack once as a Dutch male friend of mine thought of buying a microwave for his girlfriend's birthday - of course it was a very practical gift and one that his girlfriend seemed to have needed, but give me a break - a microwave for a birthday present? Not on by my standards, would like it to be more romantic.
Of course won't go into the pros and cons of Jamaican men - that would take a couple of posts in itself.

I must admit though that a self-confident man is a big turn on, by no way to be confused with being obnoxious! Nice to see that Ghanaian men do have a healthy dose of confidence. As I once read somewhere,
"Finding a good man in today's world isn't as difficult as some women think. You just have to watch out for the signs. You wouldn't drive with a blindfold on, but for some reason, women continue to date with one." Very true I think.

So here I am, blindfold off - plus baggage unloaded! Curious to see what will happen, already some interesting possibilities ahead - though rest assured that is one area I won't be blogging about!


saskia said...

aaawwww... :)
hope u will share using other media

love, xs

saskia said...

and YES to more romantic presents, while keeping my romantic expectations in check of course. ah, this balancing act, how delicate it is.
enjoy babe, blindfold off and baggage unloaded. kiss

i'mstrong said...

Just getting a chance to read your blog. I'm enjoying it:-) Finding out all sorts of belt etc. etc.