The boundaries are becoming increasingly fuzzy - help vs hinderance. What is not becoming fuzzy is the money I pay for services. The cord of kindness that I so understandingly have been letting out before, has snaked back and has started to strangle me - leaving me gasping for air, sanitity and calmness!
This morning he comes as usual to bathe Nico. Sitting quietly in the TV room I time the length of the actvity - 4 mins and 30 seconds flat! No wonder it is my dog is full of fleas. Confronting him, he stammers out ' oh but madam I am going to now remove them'. Too late. I pay him and thank him for his services and politely inform him I won't be needing him in the future. Ride over. Will bathe my own damn dog.
So the things I DO NOT want in a helper - starting immediately:
1. I don't need a friend - I need you to do your job; lets be very clear - you are not my friend, you are my employee. Period. Please respect my space I will respect yours.
2. I don't need to be your emergency 'susu' - no, I will not advance payment to buy your mobile phones, or to purchase that acre of land that you so desire, or any other such thing.
3. I don't need you to befriend my friends - what is all this chuminess about? Your friends are your friends, and mine are mine. And never again should you even dare to mention to my friends the fact that you need a raise, or events that happen in my house.
4. I don't need to be told about your dreams - which includes a rationalisation of why my friends should not come to my house and which by extension gives you permission to treat them disrespectfully.
and most of all:
5. I don't need to hear religious songs hummed at all hours of the day and night - and no, no more invitations to church. I will handle my own salvation, thank you. That includes you praying feverently for me to get a husband or what you consider my trangressions of the night before!.
I fully recognise that the main difference between both of us is just the fluke of opportunity and so I would like to treat you respectfully, but am now keeping a hold on that damn cord.