Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Inspiration from spam and other places ...

Had the most unusual inspiration for the poem I attempted below - my spam box in my e-mail! Was reading a book by Kate Braestrup, Here if you need me, which is an account of how she deals with the loss of a loved one, her subsequent connection to her own spirituality, and her chosen career as a chaplain. It is a well written book - with lots of life lessons that one can understand, and in some instances perhaps relate to. A well recommended read. She herself mentioned dyslexic pornographers and true to form, I spent a couple of days scanning my spam mail just to see what types of spelling errors I could find. Decided to compile some into the ode below.

Being a really bad speller - even now! - I of course fully empathize, so no disrespect meant to persons who actually suffer from dyslexia.

Ode to a Dyslexic Pornographer
It's Tuesday morning and my in-box is full
No, not of uplifting e-mails but of your kind of bull.
For the umpteenth time I am being cajoled
To accept your offers which seem down right bold.
But even better I must confess
Is reading your spelling which is a down right mess!

I am not a
hrony gril though admittedly I am in my prime,
And your offer for
femal Vigara is definitely not sublime.
I don't want my man with an all
nigt erction
Come to think of it do you subscribe to your own

Your offer to let me see
Brintey Speers in the nude
Is not in the least bit appealing - it's just plain rude
I don't need your help to satify my spouse bed needs easier
Frankly, could your offers get any cheesier?

Well I have spent enough of my morning looking at your spelling mistakes
That if nothing else should convince people you are a bunch of fakes.
So Sir or Madam, who ever you may be
Next time try using spell check - some browsers even have it for free!


Nana Yaw Asiedu said...

I love the cleverness of your poem (did you realise it was one? lol). I like the easy, natural rhymes and the flippancy. I like!

Kajsa Hallberg Adu said...

A fun blogpost the day before a meet-up, is it perhaps an indication you might be coming this time? We miss you! 6pm at smoothies.

Denise said...

Hi Nana, you know me and my attempts at poems or brevity. Argh! Thanks though. Have not commented (I should) but enjoying the last couple of your posts immensely. True to form as usual.

Denise said...

Hey Kajsa, would actually like to but Wednesdays are pre-booked for me so alas, alas won't be there.

posekyere said...

Bold, beautiful and funny!
Really missed your post.
Thank goodness you have come through and come through you have with such a superb piece!

Denise said...

Hey Posekyere, good to 'see' you. Though M.I.A I do read your posts too and which I am quite enjoying. Hope you and the family are good.