Big Boy and Akpan

I am sure in very culture there is that one big oaf that everyone makes fun of. In Jamaica it's Big Boy. Back in the day everyone had a new Big Boy story that was guaranteed for a few laughs. Most of the time his escapades were set in the classroom with Big Boy unwittingly giving the right answer for a question, or making some remark that so silly one just had to laugh. Granted this may not be the best example below, but I am sure you get the picture:

Teacher : "Who built the ark?"
Other student: "Big Boy, you know?"
Big Boy: "Know wha??" (* the patois for 'know what?')
Teacher: "That is right, Big Boy, Noah built the ark"

I just discovered Akpan, who I guess is the Nigerian Big Boy.

• Akpan bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book. The message reads : My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now its Nokia 6610. Please take note.

• Akpan and his wife : if tomorrow I die, will you remarry? Wife : No I will stay with my sister, but if I die will you remarry? Akpan : No, I will also stay with your sister.
• Akpan comes back to his car to see a note which says ' parking fine'. He writes a note, sticks it to the pole and says ' thanks for the compliment'.
• How do you recognise Akpan in school? He is the one that erases his notes when the teacher erases the board.
• Teacher ' I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense'. Akpan : the future tense is ' you will go to jail'.

I am curious - who is the Ghanaian equivalent to Akpan and Big Boy?